My Children...

There are times I just think or look at my children and know that I just don't deserve them. Believe me they are still children, still 3 and one, they aren't perfect, they misbehave, argue, irritate each other, and their mom. But on the other hand they are so loving, forgiving, gentle, sweet, fearless, inspiring, they love without fear. In spite of who I am, how I am raising them and the many many mistakes I make every single day they still trust me and never question that I love them and will take care of them. (I say *I*, but I mean DH also) They don't hold back their feelings, feelings of love, anger, sadness, whatever it is, they are so very real and honest. They don't put on a facade for anyone, and they don't have to. They aren't trying to impress anyone, be someone they aren't. I hope that they somehow can hold on to that. That they can stay

real, true to themselves and who God made them to be. I pray that I can foster that, that I don't put my ideas of how people "should" be into their little hearts and heads. When I think about the task of raising children, I am so ... well freaked out. I mean the responsibility to raise loving, kind, respectful, patient, responsible, morally thinking, wise, selfless followers of Christ- if they choose to be, who are independent, that make their own choices and go their own way even if the rest of the world is going the other way. So many of the things that I am not. So many of the things that I STILL struggle with. How is it that I am to instill qualities in my children when I fall so short? I know that God will guide us, I have no doubt. My fear is that what if I choose to rebel, choose to not listen to His voice, what if I can't hear His voice and guidance?

I am so humbled when I look at my girls, I know that though they are not perfect, I still do not deserve such wonderful blessings in my life. Yet I have been given them so freely. God's grace, is truly a radical thing.