What beauty is to a 6 year old, and princesses aren't so bad.

One of our favorite princesses

I wrote this when Diva was 6, she's 8 now. I guess it's time to post it.
The other day I asked Diva what makes a person beautiful. We were talking about princesses and girly things- which she loves. I'll share her answer at the end of this post. Diva is by far my most girly of girls. Yes, I just labeled my child. Don't worry, it won't scar her- nor will it define her. She knows and is reminded often who she is- a Child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made, knit and woven by Him in a very specific unique way. THAT is what defines her. Her MAKER. Her CREATOR. Her GOD. Her KING. She is His princess. THAT, and I don't put her in a box. Sure she's girly but she's also so much more. Intelligent, creative, kind, funny, bug catcher, animal lover, big sister, explorer.

She knows that princesses don't just walk around in dresses, heels and their job is not to just look pretty. She's reminded that it's not about the prince in "real life". It's interesting that Diva is so very into dresses, jewelry  ballet, girly skirts and clothes- I never set out for her to be. I was against Barbies, Disney princesses all of that stuff. She just gravitated to it. At first I was annoyed that she was "tainted" by someone watching a Barbie video with her or introducing her to something mainstream (sheesh, new mom). But the fact of the matter was, she chose those things to like too. Sure she was exposed to it but at the same time she was exposed to other things/characters/toys but she just liked what she liked. There are still toys I don't let her play with, shows I don't let her watch, things I don't let her wear. I'm still her parent. 

Do I think some toys encourage our girls to grow up too fast? Sexualize them at a young age? Maybe some of them. I think what's more important than that is decisions we make as a parent. Would I give my child a knife to play with? No, it's not a toy. See that? I still make a parental decision. Hannah Montana doll? Nope, she's too young for Hannah- and may always be too young for Hannah LOL. We've discussed dressing age appropriate and we've discussed being inappropriately dressed no matter your age. What you show, and what's the reason behind it. She's six so we don't get into detail. That will come later. 

My point is that as parents we want to point the finger, blame someone, anyone for our kids growing up too fast. I agree the media plays a part in this. But at this young age I still have the influence over my child, to teach her. Guide her and instill in her character. So while the giant media monster is pushing dolls in heavy make up and short shorts as a parent I can walk in front of my children. Lead the way, in other words be the parent. Weed out what's too much, seize the opportunity to teach but still know that in her innocence she may not see what I see in the brightly colored packages. I may see a sexualized bimbo doll, she just sees a doll. Maybe it's something in children, but she doesn't see skin color either. But she's also part Jedi master, dragon trainer etc. Which is a great mix I think. Before Diva, the thought of parenting a girl made me sweat and feel faint. Not that I didn't want girls, I just didn't think I'd be very good at parenting them. Now of course I'd give my right arm to have another baby girl... or three. And while some days I'm not good at parenting them I truly enjoy them and feel so blessed to have them. Yesterday she walked past me and we had a short conversation, she had places to be you know. It went like this-

Diva- mom, I'm wearing a ball workout dress
Me- Awesome... what's that.
Diva- it's a dress that I can do cool things with when I have it on. Because princesses can do that.
Me- that's right, they can do all sorts of things. not just wear nice dresses

 So, what did she say when I asked her what makes a person beautiful? "How kind they are."
Maybe Cinderella hasn't tainted her.