Tonight I was/am doing something I've done many times before. But I just dreaded it. Didn't want to, didn't think I could. But I had to get it done. And it's funny that through a small insignificant task, God just showed me His goodness and mercy. I want to say it was nothing. Just a little nudge saying, "hey, I'm here. Ever faithful in even the little mundane tasks." But really, when is it a little insignificant thing when God Himself, who spoke into the darkness and created light reveals Himself to us? Never. Tread lightly, remove those sandals girl. He is holy. Yes, He is as familiar, comfortable and close as Abba Father. Perfect in His love and all ways. But. HE. IS. HOLY.
What am I talking about? Chocolate. Yes, I know what you're thinking, chocolate? Really? This post is about chocolate? Yes. It is. It's about the beginning of chocolate season. Not just saying, "OK everyone it's cooler now, it's chocolate season." But getting actual chocolate work done to be sent out. Actually DO-ing instead of saying, "I really need to get this done." I understand to some people this sounds HORRIBLE. So let me clarify that I LOVE LOOOVE my job. I love the creativity, the process, the end result and the amazing people I have met and befriended. I love that there is a part of my life that is mine and not something I do for my children- sound horrible? Maybe so. (Even though Love Abounds affects my children, they aren't a part of it is what I mean.) Something I love to do for myself. The thing is I lost sight of that during this break and perhaps even towards the end of last season. I was dreading the long late nights standing for hours on end and what sometimes seemed like the never ending to do list, on little to no sleep. Oh, I am very grateful that I was so busy last year. SO grateful, SO very blessed. Don't get me wrong. That part, and remembering that part was never the issue. God knew how badly we/I needed Love Abounds. I guess I just felt like if I started I would be perpetually busy and while 99% of it was fulling, rewarding and fun, there is still the "business" side of things I don't particularly like. Paperwork, stuff like that. That 1% was holding me back. But tonight, GOD. BUT GOD. Stepped in and reminded me that these long nights standing hours on end tempering chocolate were not spent alone. No, I spent them with HIM. Praying for my children, thinking about the people who I was sending items out to, praying for them. Praying for the mamas missing their babies, the ones missing their spouses, loved ones, people hurting, people just needing peace. Those long endless nights were the times I had to reflect. Alone, in peace. But not alone. With God, in HIS peace. Just talking about stuff sometimes. Whatever it was, I was able to pour my heart out and share it with my Creator.
So yes, I get to do what I love. I get to be with my children. I am blessed enough to even have paperwork. And I get time, precious time alone with my Savior. I'm perfectly OK with that.
I'm also OK with the fact that I need to still take things slow and say no more, but, that's a whole other post.
It's late. None of this may make sense in the morning.
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