Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
Elizabeth Stone
So true isn't it? It's not that you don't love before you have children. Of course you do. The thing is, having children will magnify this truth a million times over, many times a day. One day last week I went to pick Diva up from school and as soon as she saw me she looked down and started fighting back her tears. I asked her what was wrong. She said "I almost cried twice today during recess." I knelt down beside her, looked in her little face and asked her why she felt like crying. One- she went over to a little girl that she had been playing with all week to play. The little girl told Diva that she was going to play with someone else today. The other reason- she was playing and looked around and thought her class had left the
playground. My sweet little girl. My big five year old girl. My baby. I know this is typical playground stuff. But the thought of my little girl standing there as she watched her friend walk away to play with someone else, broke my heart. Then the thought of her feeling alone and not safe, of course she wanted to cry, *I* wanted to cry just listening to her. As adults we know what rejection and feeling alone is, and for the most part we understand that it's part of life. DH, the ever practical and logical one reminds me constantly that the girls are learning life lessons and how to deal with people. The mother in me wants to pull them close to me and shelter them under my wing. I know it's important for the girls to learn to relate to people in a way that honor's Christ, loving and respectful. Still my heart aches for them when they are sad or hurt. I talked with Diva for a bit, helped her come up with things to say when someone hurts her. Then I asked her to think about how she feels/felt and to look for others that may be sad or are alone and play with them. And she does, then she moves on. That friend that didn't play with her last week? All is forgotten, they play like nothing happened. Grows from it and moves on. Amazing. Not like adults. Sometimes we dwell on things, hold grudges. Want revenge. The heart of a child is truly special. There is so much the girls teach me every day.
The good thing about having your heart outside your body is that you also experience all the joy. Everything is new, exciting, fun. To see the world through my children eyes has been such a gift and blessing. It's a second chance to see life and experience it in a way that perhaps I didn't before. Children have a different perspective on things they see, it's not because they are shorter. It's because they look with eyes that aren't prejudice. They have no baggage. They more often than not see things the way they were meant to be, beautiful in it's own way.
So while I will always feel every hurt and pain my children feel/experience and perhaps more than they do- I will also see all the joy and discovery... the beauty.
playground. My sweet little girl. My big five year old girl. My baby. I know this is typical playground stuff. But the thought of my little girl standing there as she watched her friend walk away to play with someone else, broke my heart. Then the thought of her feeling alone and not safe, of course she wanted to cry, *I* wanted to cry just listening to her. As adults we know what rejection and feeling alone is, and for the most part we understand that it's part of life. DH, the ever practical and logical one reminds me constantly that the girls are learning life lessons and how to deal with people. The mother in me wants to pull them close to me and shelter them under my wing. I know it's important for the girls to learn to relate to people in a way that honor's Christ, loving and respectful. Still my heart aches for them when they are sad or hurt. I talked with Diva for a bit, helped her come up with things to say when someone hurts her. Then I asked her to think about how she feels/felt and to look for others that may be sad or are alone and play with them. And she does, then she moves on. That friend that didn't play with her last week? All is forgotten, they play like nothing happened. Grows from it and moves on. Amazing. Not like adults. Sometimes we dwell on things, hold grudges. Want revenge. The heart of a child is truly special. There is so much the girls teach me every day.
The good thing about having your heart outside your body is that you also experience all the joy. Everything is new, exciting, fun. To see the world through my children eyes has been such a gift and blessing. It's a second chance to see life and experience it in a way that perhaps I didn't before. Children have a different perspective on things they see, it's not because they are shorter. It's because they look with eyes that aren't prejudice. They have no baggage. They more often than not see things the way they were meant to be, beautiful in it's own way.
So while I will always feel every hurt and pain my children feel/experience and perhaps more than they do- I will also see all the joy and discovery... the beauty.
No comments:
Post a Comment